Do Your Best

Just a quick lil thing I wrote inspired by the song “Do Your Best” by John Maus. John Maus is a curious man. It’s a little bit dark.

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Someone’s alone in the city tonight. Reach out your hands to the one alone tonight.

This feeling of loneliness ebbs and flows with time, the feeling of insignificance in this big, blue city humming more loudly the longer you stay here. Treading on grounds that have been heavily trafficked this morning with anxious soles and sticky morning juice. Seeing that it’s empty right now. There’s a faint glow of warm, illuminated yellow light under the streetlamps, but everything else is a dark, navy blue. Signalling there’s a little hope out there, for you and me. Someone else is feeling the very same way. What can you do that’s right for them?

The dark atmospheric sound echoing through the throes of the night, and the throb of a heartbeat, a kickdrum, perhaps. The high notes sound stricken, but give urgency to something modulating deeper inside. Do your best.

The realization when he’s in your head is terrifying. You catch yourself dreaming, yearning, wistful for his love and his neglect. Love turns into neglect. It happens so quickly, and I feel myself falling, losing. I told myself to be cautious with my heart; I told him this too. The fear comes next; I know the ledge is only softly crumbling, my shoes just starting skidding underneath me - with enough tentativeness that I can pull myself out. But I can feel my limbs seize up and I just let him take me and swallow me whole.